she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You made out with two different species that night
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
