Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
