So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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