Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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