I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
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