**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
