i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
