She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
