my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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