Having a random hookup so left but love u
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
