she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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