Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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