I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
