Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
