I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
