whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
