the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
