He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
