I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
