we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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