So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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