the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
