I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize