boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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