did you get engaged???
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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