I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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