Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
