You're my little dorito
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
