Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
ok first of all what the fuck
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
