Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
