just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
