At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
