just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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