and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
