you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
