He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My penis needs a shock collar
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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