If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize