I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
