all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
