I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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