he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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