i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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