I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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