You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
