i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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