Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
