when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
