Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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