You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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