Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
