pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
