I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's official drugs can't kill me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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