Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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