I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
