Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
