I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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