the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
