You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
that is very illegal...i love you.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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