Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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