areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
