Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize